Too big to fail.

The Desert Eagle .50 is an icon — a legend. I grew up seeing it in movies and on television. I didn’t know what it was called, but I knew the sound it made when it killed a man. The Desert Eagle was galvanized in my mind as the definition of the word “gun”.

My body grew up and my mind learned new things, but always the love of weapons, especially the Desert Eagle and everything it stood for, remained. One day, an opportunity showed itself and I jumped on it. I acquired a Desert Eagle .50 and went to the range. I shot 9 rounds total, put the gun away, and drove home with a little boner.

It was a realization of a goal. At that point I realized that the power over life and death could be purchased and wielded by anyone. That realization made me understand that myself, and the other 7 billion people on Earth, are all equal.

WHAT: Magnum Research Desert Eagle chambered in .50 AE. Weighs (fully loaded) the same (~5lbs.) as much as 4 fully loaded Glock 43s. It’s as big as a house and you can look down the barrel and see the round in decent light – though I wouldn’t recommend that. Even with the hammer locked and the safety on.

WHEN: When you feel extra spicy. When you want to find out who at the range needs a “safe space”.

WHERE: Toting it is impractical. Just hold it in your hands. Or get a shoulder holster, or a cross-hatch holster to hold it in the center of your chest as a back-up for bear hunting.

HOW: Use two hands, acquire the front sight and the target, brace yourself, brace yourself again, aim again, squeeze and wait. But really, it’s not that bad. Just keep your arm straight and bend forward at the waist. Choke way up.

PRACTICAL APPLICATION: Aim center mass. One round to anywhere will do, even a near-miss is probably enough to change the mind of an assailant. It’s a beast in the yeast and tough to control if you haven’t much experience with the Desert Eagle. If you limp-wrist, it won’t cycle and you’ll look like a dummy. Lots of practice makes perfectish. I’ve concealed this in a shoulder holster under a heavy jacket, but I don’t recommend it. If you conceal this big girl on the regular MESSAGE ME NOW so we can talk about your big nutz.


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