Scrat scroobler.

I’m not a huge man: 165 lbs. @ 6 ft. A little extra help is always good in situations where I need to convince someone to leave me alone. That’s where a good scrat scroobler/rat stick/club/basher/masher/smasher comes in handy.

I saw this bat at a rummage sale and imagined glorious Genghis Khan-esque rampages. And now I own it.

WHAT: Louisville Slugger 29 in. aluminum baseball bat.

WHEN: When you need to look crazy.

WHERE: Back seat of the car.

HOW: PUT IT ON THE BACK SEAT and be prepared to use it. If you’re going to keep a scrat scroobler handy, you better be prepared to scrooble some scrats.

PRACTICAL APPLICATION: An aluminum bat looks scary and most people don’t like getting hit in general. If you ever need to add some force to your words to get your way, a bat is a good way to make it happen. The only time I ever got out of my car with the bat, the dudes trying to jam me turned tail and left me alone. KEEP IN MIND that a lot of people will shoot you if you come at them with a bat – just make sure you’ve assessed the threat properly. THAT IN MIND, if you have to use it, just aim for the soft bits and don’t forget you can use it to jab too.


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